Don't Even Ask About Electrum
}} The crew of the Mechane objects to being the Order's personal ferry service, but are satisfied with some gold in their pockets. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * The Crew of the Mechane ** Bandana Secundus ◀ ▶ ** Andromeda ◀ ▶ ** Crewman with Five O'Clock Shadow ◀ ▶ ** Kwesi ◀ ▶ ** Crewman with Eyepatch and Pegleg ◀ ▶ ** Crewman with Eyepatch and Beard ◀ ** Crewman with Goatee ◀ * A Gold Elemental * A Magnesium Elemental * A Xorn * An Elf * An Elemental Transcript Crewman with Five O'Clock Shadow: I thought we were done! Crewman with Goatee: Yeah, Bandana. You promised. Crewman with Eyepatch and Beard: I'm freezing my butt off! Crewman with Eyepatch and Pegleg: This deal is getting worse all the time! Roy: Hey, so... it's been twenty minutes and I can't help but notice we're still not moving. Is there a problem? Andromeda: Roy, I like you, but this is getting out of hand. This is the third destination we've had! Bandana: Saving the world is darn complicated, Andi. Plans change. Andi: Just one more reason most of us aren't in the world-saving business. Not everyone wants to play the hero like you do. Andi: Besides, what are they even saving the world from, anyway? Does anyone know? Roy: Well, it's, uh... it's hard to explain. Haley: Mabye if we had some crayons? Crewman with Five O'Clock Shadow: Ugh, it's just another apolalypse-of-the-week situation. Good triumphs over Evil while Neutral gets the bill. Kwesi: They already blew up a cabin fighting vampires, you know. Crewman with Eyepatch and Pegleg: At least when Captain Scoundrel dabbled in heroics, he always found a way for us to get paid. Bandana: Hmmm. That's actually a fair point. They're all square in my book on account of helping us afford all those repairs... Bandana: ...But the crew gets paid outta that spoils, and no spoils means no income. They can't pay their debts with a fixed boat. I know Captain Scoundrel said I should go wherever y'all want, but he ain't here and I gotta look after my crew's best interests. Roy: If paying will get us moving faster, we can do that. Bandana: Let's say... 200 gp per person, not countin' myself. And that'll include us sticking around to haul you back home. Roy: Sure, whatever. Crewman with Goatee: Works for me. Kwesi: Yeah, easy money! Crewman with Eypatch and Beard: I'm gettin' a new eyepatch! Crewman with Eyepatch and Pegleg: Do you know a good place? 'Cause this one itches. Andi: But we're not a ferry service! We're pirates! Am I the only one that remembers? Andi: Ugh. I can't wait until the Captain gets back. Bandana: Oh, simmer down, Andi. You're gettin' paid now, so let's get this ship moving. Bandana: Hope there ain't hard feelings about this, folks. Roy: No, I get it. Though money won't do them much good if we don't save the planet from being destroyed. Haley: Actually, gold is accepted currency on most other planes of existence. With a few notable exceptions. Cut to the elemental plane of earth. An elf offers gold pieces to a shop keeper who is a Gold Elemental. His periodic table entry reads, "79 Au 196.97". In the background is a Xorn, a Magnesium Elemental, and an unidentified metallic elemental. Gold elemental: You monster! D&D Context * The title refers to the confusing use of electrum pieces (ep) as currency in D&D. Originally present in AD&D (1st edition), it's exchange rate vs other coins changed in the 2nd edition. It was removed in D&D 3rd and 4th editions, only to reappear in the 5th edition at its 2nd edition exchange rate. Trivia * The gold elemental is the fifth elemental from the periodic table of the elements to appear in the comics. In D&D elementals are creatures of the four classical elements: earth, air, water, fire. Redcloak began summoning modern elements with his Titanium Elementals, and since then summoned a Chlorine Elemental, an Osmium Elemental, and a Silicon Elemental. This is the first elemental from the periodic table which was not summoned by Redcloak. * Haley's comment in the third panel refers to The Crayons of Time. * This is the latest appearance thus far for the Mechane Crewman with Eyepatch and Beard. He first appeared in #935. * This is the only other appearance of the Crewman with Goatee from #951. * The Crewman with the Eyepatch and Pegleg's comment "This deal is getting worse all the time", is a famous quote by Lando Calarission from "The Empire Strikes Back" when he comments on Darth Vader altering their deal. External Links * 1028}} View the comic * 481725}} View the discussion thread Category:To Firmament